Aw the rollercoaster of parenting.. the highs and lows, the park swings and health and safety hazard roundabouts.
Some days you are literally winning and then while your literally exhaling positivity, a bird comes and poops on your head.. ok that doesn’t actually happen but it would be just as disappointing.
A prime example today.
I am on a roll. The kids are dressed. I’ve actually managed to eat breakfast and drink a coffee. The p.e kit is in the tumble dryer. The book bag is ready. I am winning people. Yes my daughter is on number 8 of a potential 100 meltdowns but I am dealing with them in a dreamy parenting calm way. I go to the loo and remember I haven’t checked the bus times to get to work.
Oh here comes the bird, hovering above, ready to drop the poo!!
My friend is kindly walking my little boy to school but there is no way I’m going to get to the bus stop in the 2 minutes I’ll have once he’s picked up.
My voice starts to rise “come on kids.. we need to get a move on” in a tone that screams any fun they were having is over.
Then I have a brainwave. I can meet my friend near the bus stop, she can carry on to school and my daughter and I will get to the bus stop on time!
I’m a freaking genius.. oh no where are my glasses.. oh yeah upstairs by the bed.. nope they’re not there. I literally won’t be able to do any computer work without them.
The bird is powering up to drop the poo bomb..
I race around the house back in stressed mode.. cannot find them. Then I remember I wasn’t wearing them last night in bed so they are still in my handbag.
I grab a baby. Shove coats on the kids, get the p.e kit!! Shit it’s still in the dryer, surely the nylon shorts will have melted by now.. I run to get them. The kit has survived. I collect the bags and we finally leave the house!
We get to the bus stop with 6 minutes to spare, my friend turns up. We have a brief chat and I cuddle my boy and off he goes.. one down!
We go and sit at the bus stop.. the time for the bus to come goes by. Then another 5, 10 minutes.
The bird poo lands on my head.. the bus is late. After all that. I’m going to be late to work anyway!!
Now even while I’m writing this I know what I need to do:
1. Get the bags and school stuff prepared the night before – but this parenting malarkey is rather tiring and once they go to bed I sigh a large sigh of relief and go in search of vodka.
2. Check the bus times the night before – refer to the above and I’m more of a commute by the seat of my pants girl.
3. Grow the f**k up – stop resisting adulthood and be a bit more organised
4. Realise (go on let it sink right in) that even if you were more organised, things beyond your control go wrong.. suck it up and move on!