The letter to my children that always makes me feel better

The hormones are deleting the patience I usually have with the kids at the moment, which then makes me feel like I’m a horrible Mum. When I’m having a tough time I always go back and read this.

A letter to my babies detailing the first time we met. It was the most emotionally charged and beautiful day of my life.

Dear Big Pig and Piglet,

We were so nervous to meet you both. I woke up at 5 am worrying and Daddy shortly after and we set off to meet you.

When we arrived at the foster carers we spotted you, our gorgeous little boy looking, then waving through the window.

We waved back, my tummy flipped and then the door opened. Piglet you were being held by the foster carer and you smiled a little but you were understandably shy. Big Pig you asked us to come in, you clearly had something to show us!

We followed Big Pig in to the living room where you wanted to show us the talking photo album we’d made you. You were pressing the buttons and looking at the photos and then looking at us. Were you trying to match us up? You just kept looking at us with your big eyes trying to take it all in.

Piglet you were still with the foster carer but you were looking at us both and smiling.

Then Big Pig, you asked us if we could all go outside. Out we went, you showed us how you could put your shoes on and then gave us a tour of the garden. You delighted in showing us 3 lumps of bird pooh!!

We then started to play football, you soon realised I was a better fan than a player and firmly told me that you wanted to play football with Daddy!

Piglet by this point you were warming up and started to play in the sand pit, so I went over and started to play in the sand too, you let me join in and started to wipe sand off my hands and bury my hands.

We then had some snack and afterwards as I was wiping your face Big Pig you looked at me and said “I love you” now of course I doubt you can love me in an hour! But I know I’m going to love you and maybe you were feeling that way too!

Big Pig, you and Daddy went back to football and Piglet you sat on my lap. The foster carer went inside and Piglet was fine. We sat on swing seat singing songs and having cuddles, it was so nice!! You were looking over at the boys playing football and after a little bit got down from my lap but then wanted me to walk with you around the garden.

Big Pig kicked the ball and you nearly hit Piglet so I said to you to be careful and you intently apologised, I explained that you didn’t need to say sorry, and you smiled then came over to check she was ok!

After quite a while on our own with you bothin the garden, we went back inside. The foster carer told you we would be going soon but would be back in the morning. Big Pig, you and Daddy made some awesome paper aeroplanes.

Then Big Pig you wanted to show us your life story book. You explained it so well. You got to a photo of your birth family. You pointed at your birth Mum and said that’s M, and looked at me, I smiled and wondered if you were worried about calling her Mummy with me there.

It was soon time to go and Big Pig you asked us lots of times if we were coming back, I said yes we would be back tomorrow, and you asked if we’d be back the next day. I said yes, every day and you did this massive smile… My heart melted!!

We gave you both a cuddle and we waved goodbye (a lot).

We drove away feeling very lucky. To have found such beautiful children whose characters shone through.

We can’t wait to see you everyday for the rest of our lives and be a forever family.

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