Yes, yes I did. In fact I have done it numerous times. One of the many things I’d said I’d never do as a parent prior to actually being a parent.
When did we turn in to those people? The ones that talk about poo for 85% of the day.
In fact when Big Pig does a poo it gets as much attention as a visit from the Queen.
Everyone has to come and have a look and then we predict whether it will need a “double flush”.
Is this what our lives have become? On a rare child free lunch out with my husband aka Daddy (cringe) we found ourselves hunting around for wetwipes! Because we’d normally use as many as the kids.
I was making a little Instagram video the other day and didn’t post it because I realised I was using my Mum voice which sounds like the voice of a 6 year old.
To be honest my colleagues at work had told me that I had this voice when I talked to the children at my nursery but I genuinely don’t realise that I’m doing it. AGGGHHH!
I’ve also committed, well I suppose there is no other way to put it. Theft! Yes I’ve broken the law.
Because I have on numerous occasions given Piglet a punnet of blueberries for her to eat in an attempt to calmly do the shopping. I pay at the end of course but still I would never have done this prior to being a parent.
Another alarming situation that occurs much more regularly than I would like is the kids will have been watching some horrendous program, you know about a teenage boy in charge of a pack of talking dogs who save a town from danger (where are the police in this town anyway).
I’m sure unless you ban TV you know which program I’m talking about. Well I often find myself continuing to watch this when the kids have upped and left to go and play somewhere else.
I suddenly realise I’m there on my own watching Paw Patrol.
And don’t get me started on theme tunes. I sing them when Big Pig is at school and Piglet is having a nap, they just go round in my head and then before I know it I’m singing about a boy who doesn’t have an easy life because he’s horrid!
And what’s with the eating food that they don’t want anymore. Yesterday I found myself eating a piece of half chewed crumpet, I just picked it up and didn’t really realise what I was doing until I was eating it. It was strangely satisfying but why! WHY would you do that!
I think I know why, because actually although the above is all pretty disgusting and despicable behaviour having children has made me drop my guard. I don’t have as many insecurities as I did before.
They have given me confidence to not give a shit even though not giving a shit leads to often talking about exactly that!
So I think in a very weird way I need to thank them.
So cheers Big Pig and Piglet. Your Mum might be a little gross from time to time but she is possibly a better person for it!