I am actually so tired that my words come out wrong! The title should be bloggers block!
And a block I have had. Truth is I haven’t really had time to write.
I went back to work on the 2nd of May and life has been pretty full on.
I am tired, really really tired. Motivated by spending time with my kids at the weekend I then get to the weekends and feel shattered.
The kids have been ill as well so that has meant some sleepless nights.
But although it probably doesn’t sound like it I am not moaning. Because I have started to
appreciate again how hard some people must have it and that I am extremely lucky.
Yes I’m tired, yes I miss the kids but they are so excited to see me when I get home.
My Mum had been doing the majority of the child care. My husband is able to adapt his work pattern, the kids are adjusting.
I am enjoying being back at work and I know when I get that first pay packet and
We go on our first proper family holiday in a few weeks it will all seem even more worthwhile.
So really it’s another shift in life that we are all getting used to. You can’t have everything in life. Yes I’d like to work part time, term time only for the same amount of money!!
But even though I struggle to get out if bed in the morning. I crack on with each day. Because I do feel extremely lucky to have such an amazing support network both at work and home. You are all amazing. Thank you xx
This week you have astounded me again. You two are so very resilient.
I know this week hasn’t been easy for you. It’s been hard for me aswell but knowing you have been in such safe hands makes my return to work so much easier.
Your faces when you see me for the first time after work. Full over the top joy! Piglet even shrieks with delight. That makes me feel so so loved, thank you.
And last night even though I was absolutely shattered we did a little victory dance celebrating how we had a whole weekend together.
Big Pig flung my work shoes across the room and said “you’re not going to need these” and for once I didn’t tell him not to throw stuff in the house.
It’s not all been easy; Big Pig you are struggling a bit and taking it out on Granny who I know you adore and I’m sure you will find your balance.
The ladies at work have been so welcoming to your Mum. They have kept me laughing this week and I have enjoyed being at work because of them.
One of them also gave me a great idea to make you each a little picture whilst I’m at work to show that I am thinking of you. I’m going to do that because although it’s been super busy, when ever there is a quiet moment I think of you both. If your ok and how much I miss spending time with you.
But we are doing ok. You two are super human, it takes super powers to cope with everything you’ve been through and to still love and trust, despite routines often changing. You are both AWESOME.
That’s right I just burst in to tears over my cinnamon swirl and mango and passion fruit juice drink thing.
I had come with my Mum to look for work trousers and I don’t know which was more upsetting; the thought of having to wear uncomfortable clothes or the thought of going back to work.
Of course it is the latter.
I have mixed feelings about going back to work, I love my job and the people I work with are amazing.
I’ve also got an altered view on priorities since the kids moved in. I plan to have a work/life balance not just a work/work balance.
But I feel so sad today, kick in the pit of the tummy sad. Because no matter how much they can drive me to complete distraction, I am going to really really miss my gorgeous, funny, clever children and the massive amount of time we get to spend together.
I know we will all adjust and I will love being able to pee on my own and talk about things other than paw patrol and yoghurt. But it genuinely hurts my heart when I think about not spending as much time with them. But I am going to really try and make the time I do spend with them as special as I possibly can.