I WILL ALWAYS BE HONEST WITH YOU

Dear Big Pig,

So this morning you opened up to me and I decided to write it down so if you ask me again we can read this together; as I can often explain things better when I write them down.

Today you told me that your birth Dad was dead. That’s what your Tummy  Mummy had told you.

Big Pig I was honest with you, I will always be honest with you when you ask me questions.

He isn’t dead.

I think your Tummy Mummy might of told you that because maybe she didn’t know how to explain why you hadn’t ever met him so she said that he died.

He agreed to the adoption which I think is very brave. He knew he wasn’t capable of giving you the life and love you deserve.

When I told you in words I hope you understood this morning; you hit the wall, curled in to a ball and started rocking. You didn’t want my comfort, you didn’t shout or scream, you were silent.

After a few minutes I told you about how I don’t see my Dad. How I sometimes worry that maybe I did something or wasn’t worth him changing to be a better Dad. But I know that isn’t true and it’s the same for you.

You were loved. They just couldn’t love you in a way that meant you were safe and fed and cared for.

You said to me “like when my Tummy Mummy didn’t feed me?”

Yes baby, that’s what I meant.

To know you would of been hungry literally makes me feel true sadness.

I said but she did love you, what kind things did she do.

You said “she let me stay up til when I want and do whatever I want”

I think you’re starting to learn that that isn’t ok either but is also why you find boundaries so difficult.

I explained how you need your sleep, but every now and again we will have a late night, on special occasions or holidays but most of the time you need to go to bed and get loads of sleep.

I’m really grateful you can talk to me about things that are going through your mind.

I’m sorry I cried but I love you so much it upset me to see you so sad or to know you sometimes were very hungry.

Eventually you wanted a cuddle and it was the best one yet!

Love you my super star. You amaze me.

Love Mummy

Mission Mindfulness
The Mummy Bubble

13 comments

  1. Oh, how heartbreaking to read. I think you’re right in being honest though, the conversation would only resurface later in life and perhaps by then it would be too late to undo that sort of lie and then you’d be seen as the ‘bad guy’ for not being honest. It’s wonderful to read that you’ve got an open relationship where you can both open up to each other x

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  2. Awww, this is so emotional! Bless her, so much for a little mind to process. You sound like the best person to guide her through it all though, you are lucky to have one another and have such an open and trusting relationship xx

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  3. Wow. Such a brilliantly honest, emotional and true post. It made me cry a little. Sad to read such heartbreaking words but it must be even harder for you to go through it. You are doing a brilliant job and its clear that you are lucky to have each other. Honesty is the best policy even when it is so hard to do! #thesatsesh

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  4. Oh my goodness – this is very moving and has left me very emotional so I can only imagine what impact this situation had on you and Big Pig. It sounds like you handled it really well (it’s okay to cry in front of our children sometimes) and this letter is brilliant to have up your sleeve. You are both dealing with so much – wishing you lots of happiness as a family moving forwards xxxxx #thesatsesh

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    • Thanks. It was tough but so glad he feels he can talk to me. I know he bottles a lot up or maybe can’t find the words to describe certain things. He’s also very emotionally aware so I think he worries he’s going to upset me. So I occasionally bring up the tricky subjects just so he knows I’m open to talking about it x

      Liked by 1 person

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